Tracy Ruckman

 As I begin writing this blog post, it's 10:41 pm on December 31, 2024. Goodbye, 2024 - Hello, 2025!  Each year, most of us have a tendency - perhaps an intentional habit for some - to reflect on the past year and plan for the new. I'm not one of those intentional people; any time I try planning anything, life happens that cause plans to change, so I've learned to be more flexible, awaiting what He has in store.  In God's refining fire, the trials and tribulations of life, we have a choice. A choice to lean into Him, to learn the lessons He has for us, or to turn from Him and try to do life on our own.  I was saved in my early 20s, but foolishly tried to lead life on my own terms for two turbulent decades. But Christmas 2005 changed me. Hitting rock bottom, I surrendered my whole being - my will, my way - to Him fully, no longer willing or able to do life without Him guiding my every step. Life didn't get any easier but my perspective changed, and that made all the ...

Last month, Advent Health honored me by asking if I would be one of their "faces" during their "Pink Porch" campaign for Breast Awareness Month. They arranged for a photo shoot and an interview, and said I could invite anyone I wanted to be in the photos with me.  Without hesitation, I suggested Jess Bolton, my daughter-in-law, and Felicia Trawick, my nurse navigator-turned-friend. These two were with me every day of my cancer journey, either in person or by phone. God knew what I needed during that time because Jess and Felicia kept me laughing, and we're still at it, as you can tell from the photos below. The lovely and patient photographer, Emily Long, had us talk to each other, and to look at each other, and we just got silly. (Please note: these photos are the only time you'll see me NOT talking with my hands! Such a surprise to all of us!) It was a windy but fun day, and Zach, my son and Jess's husband, surprised and blessed me by coming, too.  Dur...

Blogging got away from me this summer. At the end of July, I got sick with what the doc eventually said was either the flu or covid, but it was too late to test by that time. Then Tim got sick and ended up in the hospital for a week with covid and double pneumonia. He’s home now and recovering well - I’m grateful and he’s happy to be home again. I decided to share our experience with home health care. Since all of this was new to us, I don’t know if our experience is the norm, but thought I’d share in case it’s all new to someone else. The hospital filled up while Tim was there, so once they got him on his feet without oxygen, they sent us home because they needed the bed. But they ordered Home Health Care, saying he needed physical therapy, and that’s what we expected. Tim left the hospital on the 19th. To simply things, I’ll list the dates and duties of Home Health below (we also had 3 doc appts scattered in the middle of all these dates, and perhaps only introverts and hermits like ...

Earlier this year, TMP Books put out a call for submissions for two anthologies, requesting stories from cancer warriors/survivors, and from cancer caregivers. We received several submissions, but not enough to fill either book, so for now, the books are postponed. When I notified the writers who had submitted, one of them suggested running the stories on my blog, and I loved the idea. My goal was to share people’s stories, to give encouragement and hope to other cancer warriors and caregivers, so why wait? I’m sharing the stories each Tuesday, in the order they were submitted. Today, I welcome author V. Ronnie Laughlin who shares her atypical breast cancer journey from the Middle East, during the pandemic. No Time to Sit and Worry As I held the specimen cup in my hand with the breast biopsy sample glistening inside; I looked at it and it looked at me. It looked like a hydra, the long tentacled invertebrate with a gelatinous body. I do not know what possessed me to ask my Radiologist,...

Earlier this year, TMP Books put out a call for submissions for two anthologies, requesting stories from cancer warriors/survivors, and from cancer caregivers. We received several submissions, but not enough to fill either book, so for now, the books are postponed. When I notified the writers who had submitted, one of them suggested running the stories on my blog, and I loved the idea. My goal was to share people’s stories, to give encouragement and hope to other cancer warriors and caregivers, so why wait? I’m sharing the stories each Tuesday, in the order they were submitted. Today, I welcome author Phee Paradise, sharing a powerful snippet of caregiving during her son’s battle with leukemia. Between Christmas and Easter On Christmas Eve, I held a flickering candle in each hand, tears filling my eyes. The left one was for me, the right one for my son whose arm hung uselessly after a stroke. This night he was quarantined at home recovering from a bone marrow transplant. In the dim ch...

Earlier this year, TMP Books put out a call for submissions for two anthologies, requesting stories from cancer warriors/survivors, and from cancer caregivers. We received several submissions, but not enough to fill either book, so for now, the books are postponed. When I notified the writers who had submitted, one of them suggested running the stories on my blog, and I loved the idea. My goal was to share people’s stories, to give encouragement and hope to other cancer warriors and caregivers, so why wait? I’m sharing the stories each Tuesday, in the order they were submitted. Today, I welcome Mary-Kay Cronemeyer, sharing her story as a valiant cancer warrior. I Took Back Time “Skeptical” was on the tip of my tongue and really the word I wanted to use in reply to my surgical oncologist after my biopsy, seven years ago, because that’s how I honestly felt. But I needed to sound comparatively positive to his level of confidence, so I opted for “cautiously optimistic.” Even though, in re...

Earlier this year, TMP Books put out a call for submissions for two anthologies, requesting stories from cancer warriors/survivors, and from cancer caregivers. We received several submissions, but not enough to fill either book, so for now, the books are postponed. When I notified the writers who had submitted, one of them suggested running the stories on my blog, and I loved the idea. My goal was to share people’s stories, to give encouragement and hope to other cancer warriors and caregivers, so why wait? I’m sharing the stories each Tuesday, in the order they were submitted. Today, I welcome my sister, Carrie Leeth, to the blog, sharing her story as a lifelong caregiver: 28 Years and Counting In 1994, my father had been diagnosed with throat cancer and had been battling this for some time, losing weight, not able to work. He had a feeding tube placed before he started taking radiation treatments two times a day, for six weeks, so my brother and I took turns driving him to treatment...

I promised readers of The Pink Pages that I would provide occasional updates on my cancer journey, so here’s the latest. I’m grateful these updates are getting shorter and less frequent. Tuesday, I visited my favorite doctor - my surgeon. Never thought a surgeon could be on my list of favorite people, but this one is the best, even before today’s appointment. He removed the Medi-port! As I was driving to his office, I was praying and thanking God for the inventor of the Medi-port device (the apparatus also known by other names including port-a-cath.) At one point during my waiting time, I calculated that the Medi-port had saved me sticks from at least 18 IV needles and all the pain, anxiety, and aggravation that would have gone along with each one. What a blessing that Medi-port was for 16 months. I’m truly grateful. I’m equally grateful that it is now gone. The procedure was done in the surgeon’s office and took less than 15 minutes. I laughed when they asked if I wanted to keep the ...

Earlier this year, TMP Books put out a call for submissions for two anthologies, requesting stories from cancer warriors/survivors, and from cancer caregivers. We received several submissions, but not enough to fill either book, so for now, the books are postponed. When I notified the writers who had submitted, one of them suggested running the stories on my blog, and I loved the idea. My goal was to share people’s stories, to give encouragement and hope to other cancer warriors and caregivers, so why wait? I’m sharing the stories each Tuesday, in the order they were submitted. Today, I welcome author April Whitt sharing her story as a cancer warrior. A Joyful Warrior As I begin a new season in my life, I look back over the past few years and my struggle with cancer. I consider that even though cancer has consumed much of my time, energy and thought life, it is NOT the sum of who I am. It is not even the whole of my struggle, it has even become part of my joy. My journey began back in...

When I saw a few social media posts this morning reminding me that it’s #ThankfulThursday, I decided it was time to write a long overdue letter and share it with all of you. Dear MercyMe: I’ve wanted to write this letter for a few years, but never made it a priority. But after all that’s happened, I can’t not write to you. Thank you for writing the songs you do. I know many of them are born out of your own trials and tribulations. I’m truly sorry for the pain you’ve experienced, but I’m incredibly grateful that the Lord is using you so mightily to help others through their own struggles, including my own. Your song “Even If” was released the year my younger son was diagnosed with many more mental illnesses, when the first diagnoses were overwhelming enough. I resisted the song at first, because I didn’t want to / couldn’t / wasn’t ready to admit that there might be an Even If kind of answer to all my fervent prayers for him. But reality finally sunk in, and I found the Hope in your lyr...