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Showing posts from April, 2024

The Shame of Mental Illness

We lost a beautiful loved one to mental illness over the weekend. With my son Jon’s diagnosis, I always thought the lack of help for him was due to his/our lack of financial resources, or his addictions, which made finding treatment more difficult, or even my failure as parent. But the loved one we lost this weekend had the resources, no addictions, and had strong family support his entire life. They sought help for him continuously and ferociously, and yet the system FAILED them. The system failed HIM. Why???? This is why I’m not okay. I’m angry. The Shame of Mental Illness is NOT with the illness, NOT with the patient, NOT with their families – the Shame of Mental Illness is that NO ONE has answers, NO ONE can get help! This should make all of us ANGRY. The month of May is Mental Health May 5th is “Silence the Shame” Day to help bring awareness to the plague that is crippling our world right now – mental illness – and to help erase the stigma associated with mental illness. I don’t a...

Healthcare Decisions

Today is “National Healthcare Decisions” day, so I thought I’d ask you some questions. Unfortunately, I may step on a few toes in the process. Do you have a Last Will and Testament? Do you have a Living Will (Advance Directive)? Do you have a Durable Power of Attorney and/or a Medical Power of Attorney? A Durable Power of Attorney gives someone else the legal power to act on your behalf, usually for handling financial matters. A Medical Power of Attorney gives someone else the legal power to act on your behalf in medical matters only. Have you added beneficiaries to all your bank accounts? Have you planned for your funeral/cremation/burial? I know that pre-payment always possible or even advised in some cases, but it’s something to consider, explore, and plan, if possible. Over the years, we’ve experienced several deaths in our families, and I’ve observed what happens to families after someone passes. It’s interesting to me how so many people refuse to talk about, think about, or plan ...

Mirrors, Scars, and Change

American musician Steven Adler (Guns N’ Roses) said, “I look in the mirror and see a few scars, but I like myself.” Until recently, I couldn’t look in a mirror. As a kid, I never really thought much about the way I looked, but I still encountered many criticisms of being too short, too plump, too busty, etc. Between 4th and 5th grades, I added glasses to the mix and I gained a lot of weight, so my fifth grade school picture was atrocious. So bad, in fact, that I destroyed all the pictures I could get my hands on, but it still went in the year book. When I began entering puberty, that weight gain redistributed itself, and eventually I began to appreciate my looks. But in my early 40s, I began avoiding mirrors. I didn’t like the way I looked and the negative voices ruled the way I felt about myself for 20 years. [Oh - and I realized after I posted, I needed to clarify something. The negativity isn’t coming from my husband. He’s loving, kind, and supportive. But I let the voices of the pa...