Today is “National Healthcare Decisions” day, so I thought I’d ask you some questions. Unfortunately, I may step on a few toes in the process.
Do you have a Last Will and Testament?
Do you have a Living Will (Advance Directive)?
Do you have a Durable Power of Attorney and/or a Medical Power of Attorney?
Have you added beneficiaries to all your bank accounts?
Have you planned for your funeral/cremation/burial? I know that pre-payment always possible or even advised in some cases, but it’s something to consider, explore, and plan, if possible.
Over the years, we’ve experienced several deaths in our families, and I’ve observed what happens to families after someone passes. It’s interesting to me how so many people refuse to talk about, think about, or plan for these matters. Do they think they’ll escape death?
Fact of life: we all die.
When I was a young child, a great-aunt died. Her home was to be the family gathering spot after the service, so the kids were left at the home with other relatives while everyone else attended the funeral. The moment everyone returned to the house, chaos ensued. Folks were turning that house upside down, tearing through drawers, papers flying everywhere, as they searched for needed documents. Their actions were apparently traumatic for me, since the frenzy is all I remember from that day.
When you die, or become incapacitated, what happens next?
Decisions have to be made by someone. Many people shrug this off, with the thought that someone else can handle it, because it’s not their problem anymore. But that leaves the responsibility to someone else - is that someone else able/willing to make the decisions for you? Does that person have time? Resources? Do you really want that person to be burdened with things you could have done in advance? Love your loved ones by helping them take care of your final wishes.
Do you want a funeral or a memorial service? Do you want to be buried in a cemetery or somewhere else?
Do you want to be cremated? Do you want your ashes to be buried or scattered to the winds?
Who takes control of your belongings? If they don’t want or need your belongings, what should they do with them? Do you want specific items to go to someone in particular?
If you become incapacitated due to stroke, dementia, accident, disease, or illness, who do you want handling your affairs?
Write all your final wishes down, so you loved ones will have a guide.
Even if you don’t care about any of this, think about your loved ones and the decisions that they will be forced to make in your absence.
If you can’t afford a lawyer, search online for examples of Wills, Living Wills (Advance Directives), Powers of Attorney (both Durable and Medical), looking specifically for examples in your state, because laws vary from state to state. Then following the examples, create your own, and take them to a notary public (can usually be found at banks, libraries, or other public facilities.) Then, give copies to your loved ones so they’ll have them when they’re needed.
Yes, this may create some difficult, or at least awkward, conversations, but you will save them frustration in the long run, and they’ll have the freedom and space to grieve when the time comes.
Some states offer free assistance to seniors, so check your state’s equivalent to the Department of Aging to see what’s available. Power of Attorney forms should be available on your state’s website.
Here are some links to helpful resources:
Do you have a Last Will and Testament?
Do you have a Living Will (Advance Directive)?
Do you have a Durable Power of Attorney and/or a Medical Power of Attorney?
- A Durable Power of Attorney gives someone else the legal power to act on your behalf, usually for handling financial matters.
- A Medical Power of Attorney gives someone else the legal power to act on your behalf in medical matters only.
Have you added beneficiaries to all your bank accounts?
Have you planned for your funeral/cremation/burial? I know that pre-payment always possible or even advised in some cases, but it’s something to consider, explore, and plan, if possible.
Over the years, we’ve experienced several deaths in our families, and I’ve observed what happens to families after someone passes. It’s interesting to me how so many people refuse to talk about, think about, or plan for these matters. Do they think they’ll escape death?
Fact of life: we all die.
When I was a young child, a great-aunt died. Her home was to be the family gathering spot after the service, so the kids were left at the home with other relatives while everyone else attended the funeral. The moment everyone returned to the house, chaos ensued. Folks were turning that house upside down, tearing through drawers, papers flying everywhere, as they searched for needed documents. Their actions were apparently traumatic for me, since the frenzy is all I remember from that day.
When you die, or become incapacitated, what happens next?
Decisions have to be made by someone. Many people shrug this off, with the thought that someone else can handle it, because it’s not their problem anymore. But that leaves the responsibility to someone else - is that someone else able/willing to make the decisions for you? Does that person have time? Resources? Do you really want that person to be burdened with things you could have done in advance? Love your loved ones by helping them take care of your final wishes.
Do you want a funeral or a memorial service? Do you want to be buried in a cemetery or somewhere else?
Do you want to be cremated? Do you want your ashes to be buried or scattered to the winds?
Who takes control of your belongings? If they don’t want or need your belongings, what should they do with them? Do you want specific items to go to someone in particular?
If you become incapacitated due to stroke, dementia, accident, disease, or illness, who do you want handling your affairs?
Write all your final wishes down, so you loved ones will have a guide.
Even if you don’t care about any of this, think about your loved ones and the decisions that they will be forced to make in your absence.
If you can’t afford a lawyer, search online for examples of Wills, Living Wills (Advance Directives), Powers of Attorney (both Durable and Medical), looking specifically for examples in your state, because laws vary from state to state. Then following the examples, create your own, and take them to a notary public (can usually be found at banks, libraries, or other public facilities.) Then, give copies to your loved ones so they’ll have them when they’re needed.
Yes, this may create some difficult, or at least awkward, conversations, but you will save them frustration in the long run, and they’ll have the freedom and space to grieve when the time comes.
Some states offer free assistance to seniors, so check your state’s equivalent to the Department of Aging to see what’s available. Power of Attorney forms should be available on your state’s website.
Here are some links to helpful resources:
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